What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
