i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
