I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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