Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
