Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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