I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize