I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
