is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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