I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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