I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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