Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
