Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
