I want to walk on stilts...naked
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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