so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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