He uses pillows to masturbate.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
