it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Randomize
