Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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