Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize