his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Come see our sink grown plant.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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