I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
lol hangovers are for mortals.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
