Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize