we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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