Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Green mimosas i think yes
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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