I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
now i know why i became what i already was.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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