So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
