he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
