What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
lol hangovers are for mortals.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
