its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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