I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize