Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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