She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
