she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
