im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
My life is pants optional.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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