I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize