A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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