How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
