Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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