Well apparently he's into motor boating.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Randomize
