Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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