Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
