I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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