i need an iv and a liver transplant
just tell him i said nine months
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
