In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
