Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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