party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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