my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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