question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize