i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
