You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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