Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
