I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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