I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
