I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
