just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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