it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
