walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
