he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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