It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
