Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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