I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
