My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize