there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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