it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
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