No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
